1. I was Fourteen when I went to that party. I wore the shortest skirt, because I know what you were like. I fucked a random guy that night. I was powerful, and strong. He gave me the attention you never could. I still remember how he tastes. It scares me a little.

2. I used to drink myself into a slumber. Because living hurt far too much. So many encouraged my utter recklessness. I was trying to drink you the fuck out of my system. And still, standing in my bathroom, I found you hidden within my veins.

3. I was fifteen when you left. I can’t even remember how many times you came back, just for you to leave all over again. You left me far too often. I kept begging you to stay, and you never did. You filled me with poison laced promises.

4. I was sixteen when you contacted me again. I wanted to tell you to leave me alone. I had saved a years worth of abuse for you. But I couldn’t. It had been a year since we had last spoken. I tried to be strong, but you knocked down all of my walls. Rather than tell you to fuck off, I said ‘I love you.’

Sometimes life feels too much - Poemsforthebad (via poemsforthebad)